December 19, 2023
The holidays are often filled with food. Between events, parties, and holiday traditions like Christmas baking, gingerbread house decorating, and big meals with friend and family, food is impossible to avoid. People often get scared that they’re going to overdo it or eat too much over the holiday season. This isn’t helped by the fact that we see an increase in diet ads over the holidays trying to get you to commit to a diet in the new year to work off any holiday pounds you may have gained (although in reality, the average weight gain over the holidays is less than 1 pound). In order to avoid any unwanted weight gain over the holidays, often people will try to compensate for any extra food that they plan on eating. This often looks like avoiding eating and/or exercising more during the day when they know they will be surrounded by food in the evening.
I said it last year and I'll say it again this year, you cannot treat your body like a bank account. You can't save up calories in the morning so that you can splurge in the evening. This is not how bodies work. When you avoid eating in order to save up for a big meal, this tends to backfire in a big way because you end up feeling ravenous by the time you get to the event.
When you get to an event and you’re ravenous and all of a sudden you're surrounded by food, it’s difficult to not want to eat everything in sight. It’s also very difficult to feel full if you’ve let yourself get to the point of being ravenously hungry. In Intuitive Eating, we call this ravenous feeling 'primal hunger'. Primal hunger is an intense biological drive to eat. It can feel unpleasant, urgent, and sometimes even painful. It is well beyond the polite feeling of “oh yeah I could eat”.
What starts off as good intentions to avoid eating too many calories during the day almost always ends up with an unpleasant and urgent desire to eat anything you can get your hands on. Your eating may feel frantic and out of control. You end up eating food because it’s there and not because you are actually enjoying it. Not only that, but because it’s difficult to fill up after getting that hungry, you often can't stop eating until you feel physically uncomfortable.
Often when you eat that much you start to feel really guilty. Your brain may start this running narrative of "I can’t believe I did that, I’m such a bad person, clearly I can’t control myself around food". Then, the next day, maybe you wake up and you’re still full and you think to yourself, I ate way too much yesterday so I'm going to skip breakfast today. Lo and behold, the restriction cycle starts again.
Instead of worrying about the food to come, here are some tips for when you are attending an event where you know there will be a lot of food so you leave feeling satisfied and comfortable.
Don’t save up all your calories in anticipation of eating a lot. You don't have to eat a meal right before leaving for the party, you can still go mildly hungry in anticipation of eating, but if the party is around dinner, make sure to eat breakfast and lunch. If the dinner is going to be late, you may benefit from a snack as well.
When you’re at the event and you’re deciding what to eat, start with what looks most appealing or what you can't get on a regular basis. That way you get to enjoy all your favourites before you fill up and you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.
Try to eat using all of your senses so you savour and enjoy your food. When we eat foods that we feel are off limits or bad for us sometimes we eat them really quickly and then barely taste or enjoy what we’re eating. When we use all of our senses (sight, smell, taste, etc.) it helps us not only slow down our eating, but it also helps us to tune into what we’re eating. If something isn't as delicious as expected, remind yourself that you don't have to finish it. When we are surrounded by food we may as well prioritize the most delicious food...right?
As you eat, you want to check in regularly to see if you're still hungry, if you are, eat more, if you’re not, stop. If you're full but find yourself eating simply because the food is there, move away from the food table, or if it's a plated dinner, put your napkin over your food to signal that you are finished.
Now will the above tips guarantee that you leave a party without overeating? Not necessarily, it is the holidays after all and there are a lot of foods that we don’t normally get to eat which makes eating more exciting. BUT you will get to enjoy what you eat, you will feel more in control as you eat, and you won’t leave feeling stuffed and uncomfortable.
I find that as my clients become Intuitive Eaters, this process becomes a lot easier. This is because we practice these concepts (checking in, being mindful, prioritizing, eating regularly etc.) all year long, so by the time the holidays hit, it feels like second nature. Many of my clients report that being around food after learning about Intuitive Eating no longer causes anxiety the way that is did in years past.
If you're interested in becoming an Intuitive Eater, you can book a FREE call with me OR if you're a mom, you can join myself and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Melisa Arias-Valenzuela in the next cohort of our signature program The Nourished Mama: Intuitive Eating for Busy Moms. Starting in January, The Nourished Mama includes a mix of online learning as well as live skill-building calls with both Melisa and myself on Monday evenings after the kids go to bed. This is when we chat, troubleshoot, and cheer each other on.
If you’re a mom and you’re sick of feeling anxious around food, you’re tired of setting the same New Year’s resolution every January only to have completely abandoned it by February, and you want to set a good example for your kids, then The Nourished Mama is for you. We’re currently running an Instagram Challenge called the 12 Days of Intuitive Eating. It’s not too late to join and not only do you receive early access to The Nourished Mama but you can also save $100 simply by signing up. You can find out more about the Nourished Mama here.
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